Mince Pie Megatest VI

Fortnum and Maston St. Clement's Mince Pie

Price: £9.25 for six
Pictured: Top

Famous for being the suppliers of Her Majesty the Queen’s Christmas Puds, Fortnum and Mason has been something of a let down in the past. This year, the Piccadilly retailer’s pies were among the finest to grace our undeserving tongues. The filling is Christmas incarnate, and the St Clement's variety on test offered just the right amount of citrus kick to be refreshing without overwhelming the rest of the pie. The pies lost points for the pastry, which tasted a little cheap and preservative-like, and also for the royal cost: for the same price you could bag yourself almost 24 M&S Classics.

Verdict: 75%

Harrods Mince Pies with Malt Whisky

Price: £6.95 for six
Pictured: Middle row, left

Before so much as opening the box of these boozy beasts, we knew they contained a tramp’s-worth of alcohol. We’re surprised that we didn’t have to tender some kind of proof of age upon purchase. Biting into the soft pies filled our senses with a strong aroma of Scotland’s finest, a quality that most of the tasters found overwhelming. Whisky aside, the filling of these pies pleasingly came all the way to the top of the soft and buttery pastry – a clear (and hobo-ish) two fingers to the recession. In spite of these endearing qualities, the overpowering booze of the Harrods pies lost them too many points across our board of taste testers. Whisky lovers might want to give them a try, however.

Verdict: 41%

Tesco Deep Filled Mince Pie

Price: £1.29 for six
Pictured: Middle row, right

Dubbed by several amongst the panel of judges to be ‘the reference pie’, Tesco’s Deep Filled were the pies that set the quality bar for all the others. The pies were generally inoffensive, but verged toward dullness and tastelessness. If someone brought these pies round for dessert, you wouldn’t be asking for the recipe. The pastry was a touch bland, but moist enough to do the job, while the filling was acceptable. Ultimately, these pies were an uninspiring attempt at the British classic, though are dull enough to avoid complaints from picky eaters.

Verdict: 64%

M&S Classic Deep Filled Mince Pies

Price: £2.39 for six
Pictured: Bottom row, left

We’ve had something of a rocky history with M&S pies. Back in Issue 40 they were more akin to Eccles cakes than mince pies, and the following year the filling contained ‘a heady aroma of pond water.’ Clearly, the avid CPC and bit-tech readership at M&S has taken our comments on board and this year, they’ve nailed it. The filling was tangy and the decent measure of fruit peel brought a fresh, citrusy note to the proceedings. The filling contained just enough booze to remain palatable, and a buttery pastry finished off the package. There could have been a little more mince under the hood, but considering the recession-friendly price, this is a forgivable shortfall.

Verdict: 82%

Waitrose All Butter Mince Pie

Price: £2.19 for six
Pictured: Bottom row, middle

Anyone who shops at Waitrose will be familiar with its usual brand of high priced and high quality fair. While this has held true in previous Mince Pie Megatests, this year’s test saw the Waitrose’s pies fall off the wagon. The pies delivered on the promise of their name though: the delicious pastry was buttery to the point that it made us fear for the wellbeing of our arteries. Sadly, the filling wasn’t there to back it up. A boozy, citrusy aroma assaulted our senses once we’d broken through the buttery goodness of the exterior. One taster even likened the filling to a kitchen mop with remnants of citrus-fresh cleaning solution.

Verdict: 40%

Mr Kipling Mince Pies

Price: £1.49 for six
Pictured: Bottom row, right

Of all the mince pies we’ve tested, Mr Kipling is the only brand that that has written in to us about its poor reviews. This year, the purveyor of exceedingly good cakes appears to have whipped its pie-making department into shape. The pastry still needs a little work, as it veered towards the dry end of the scale, but the filling was both moist and tangy. The price is right and the Christmassy overtones of the mince filling struck the right notes with our taste buds. These pies were far from the best pies of the bunch this year, but the Kipling crew saw its best score to date.

Verdict: 64%